Dungeons & Disabilities

By Nicholas Hoekstra

Have you ever passed out from a night of heavy drinking, only to wake up the next day and find that your friend's familiar mistook you being dead drunk for... dead, and plucked out your eyes?

Have you ever gotten in a good natured bit of banter with a ship's captain, only to have him bite off your ear?

And what experienced dungeoneer hasn't woken up the next morning lying beside a Kobold and been forced to hack off a limb in order to escape?

“That be nothing compared to what I was forced to cut off when I woke up next to yer mum.”

“That be nothing compared to what I was forced to cut off when I woke up next to yer mum.”

Role-playing games have become ever more diverse in recent years, but the inclusion of persons with disabilities is still underrepresented in many tabletop RPGs. Characteristics such as blindness or deafness typically exist only as temporary conditions cured by magic or time. When characters with disabilities do appear, they are often portrayed as stereotypes, such as the blind seer, disabled veteran, or old man who is hard of hearing.

There is no reason why an active adventurer can’t also have a disability, though, and no reason why you shouldn’t consider playing one on your next campaign. My target audience with this post is not necessarily other people with disabilities: a person with a disability may or may not choose to roleplay a character with a disability. Instead, I write this post with the goal of encouraging other players to include disability as a natural and feasible characteristic to incorporate in the development of their characters. With that end in mind, I provide some advice – from my own experiences as a blind gamer and professional in inclusive education – on how you might RP a blind, deaf, or physically impaired character. Disability exists in our every day, and there is no reason it wouldn’t exist in our games.

Mac and Me: The benchmark of integrity we should all be striving for.

Mac and Me: The benchmark of integrity we should all be striving for.

1. Think about the challenges a character with a disability would face in your setting and how you might adapt.

Tabletop RPG settings can range widely from the primitive to the futuristic, but for purposes of this post I will focus on the traditional mediaeval campaign setting popular in Dungeons & Dragons. Perhaps the most striking challenge for any character with a disability in this environment would come in the form of stigmatism and social isolation.

Imagine growing up as a person who is deaf or blind in a cut-throat world with limited technology and even fewer rights. Individuals with disabilities have probably been underestimated, sometimes isolated, and have had to develop strong self reliance. This all makes for great fodder when thinking up a backstory.

Practically speaking, characters with physical or visual impairments might find it difficult to get around a feudal environment. Your average castle dungeon isn’t compliant with the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and probably won’t have ramps or elevators – just steep stairs and trap doors. You may need to rely on your party’s tank to help you down stairs, if walking is a challenge, or consider investing in a magic carpet. A good old fashioned quarterstaff can substitute nicely for a cane for the visually impaired, but you may still benefit from the occasional sighted guide.

“Hoo-Ha!”

“Hoo-Ha!”

Magic and prayer, on the other hand, may require a character to read, speak or gesture, all of which could be impacted by a disability. A blind character could, theoretically, have spells read to them while a character who is missing an arm could gesture using their feet. A deaf bard may favor percussion instruments over flutes or strings for working their magic, although they might find singing to be a challenge.

In terms of fighting, a blind warrior might have disadvantage on ranged attacks against smaller monsters, but that disadvantage would quickly disappear as enemies grow larger and louder. A deaf character might not hear the sound of a twig snapping behind them in the woods, but might be sensitive to vibrations through a wooden floor that others fail to notice. A character whose legs are paralyzed may be unable to jump, but have developed great arm strength from needing to frequently lift themselves.

The key is to recognize that a disability will change how your character goes about the daily routine of adventuring; some activities may be impossible and others will require you to think creatively.


2. Think about the skills and spells that would be particularly natural for your character.

Role-playing a character with a disability means considering how an impairment may have shaped their choices in life. This could mean that a character with a physical impairment has pursued a life of magic over fighting, or long-ranged weapons over hand-to-hand combat. Characters with hearing impairments may struggle to communicate in day-to-day interactions, making bargaining difficult, but find acceptance in the halls of temples or the deep forests. A blind orphan may have been bullied growing up, yet learned to grapple as a fighter or manipulate the sympathies of others as a con artist.

“I will fuck your shit up.”

“I will fuck your shit up.”

A number of magic spells may take on new significance. Characters with sensory impairments might be partial to spells like arcane eye or beast sense that bypass the characters’ own disability, though they should be strategic in when and how to use them. If your blind sorcerer has burned their arcane eye spell looking at gnomish porn, you’ll be out of luck when you want a glimpse of the battlefield. Characters with visual impairments may favor shocking/flaming/freezing grasp spells rather than the use of long-range attacks, while a mage with a physical impairment may need to rely on the blink or fly spells to escape from danger.


3. Think about the advantages of a disability.

It might not be immediately obvious how a disability could lend an advantage to a player, but let’s consider this. From a roleplaying perspective, individuals with disabilities are often underestimated in society, potentially allowing for a sneak attack or advantage on a first engagement. For a similar reason, a blind character or one with a physical disability might be overlooked in the tavern and thereby overhear otherwise private conversations.

When it comes to fighting, a blind warrior or mage can look that basilisk straight in the eye and a deaf ranger can withstand the siren song or vitriolic insults of an enemy bard. Even a character with a physical impairment will be immune to any spell that attempts to force movement in limbs that are missing or paralyzed.

When plunged into deep darkness, the blind druid in your party will be the only person at ease, while magical silence poses less of a threat to the long-time traveling companions of the deaf monk who has taught them sign language.

Lesson 1

Lesson 1


4. Avoid giving your character an overpowered trait that counteracts their disability.

If you choose to play a character with a disability, it should have some baring on how you roleplay. Creating a blind character who has inhuman hearing would defeat the purpose. Similarly, providing your physically impaired character an artifact that grants normal movement wouldn’t change your playstyle. A fighter with a hearing impairment may be more sensitive to vibrations, but that doesn’t mean they can feel the drop of a pin from 10 feet away. If you create a character with a disability, only to give them supernatural powers to bypass it, you might as well just play Ben Affleck.

“And they said I was blind.”

“And they said I was blind.”


In the end, roleplaying is about storytelling. Creating a character with a disability offers a great new dynamic to your game that also reflects the reality in which we live. I hope these basic tips provide some food for thought in the unlikely case that your half-elven rogue is caught steeling and loses a hand.

Opinion Pit

(All views expressed herein do not represent the Crusty Bottom Tribune. Opinions expressed are solely the blame of the individual writers. Crusty Bottom Tribune will not accept liability, financial damage or severed appendages on behalf of the authors.)

Jacob Blergblum is a gelatinous cube and teamster for the Union of Teamsters, Humanwhackers, Porters and Stevedores. He is an outspoken advocate for transparency in the meat shipping industry. He has donated generously to causes that seek to end illegal human trafficking and promote legal human trafficking.

I was born long ago, on a cold day in Shrivelpeen, after my mother consumed 3 bars, a tannery and a sex shop. She taught me two important life lessons before her tragic death at the hands of a rogue storm drain. The first was “Honesty is the best policy”. The second was that when the Great Slime in the Sky calls, all you leave behind are a few used dildos too big to fit though a sewer grate.

“Tell me about it.”

“Tell me about it.”

If you’re gonna ooze into a cracked window to dissolve the sweet, sweet humans on the other side, be square about it. No need to lie or be rude. “Heya, I’m Jacob – friends call me Jay. I’m here to slowly and painfully consume you and family.” Boom. Polite, upfront, and to the point.

Nothing burns my floppy, gelatinous balls like dishonesty. So I make sure all my dues are paid and all my certifications stay up to date. I work at the Effluvia Canal Docks, loading and unloading the meat barges that come in. It kills me every time I see scabs running unlicensed human trafficking operations.

When I squelch down to the markets, I take pride seeing what my work brings to our fine dungeon. Fresh kidneys, spicy pickled testicles, and whole roasted human spinning merrily on a spit are what the teamsters bring to Crusty Bottom. All certified Grade-A homodeliciousness. We only move humans that have been carefully inspected inside and out, screams and all.

Certified Fresh!

Certified Fresh!

You just can’t get that with unlicensed human trafficking. Yeah, their prices are lower but do you really want to risk your health on human that has fallen off the back of a wagon? It’s all fun and games until you bite down on a Kidney Stone or slurp a bad hippy who was tripping balls before you devoured his.

We get our stock straight from Dickclove’s Premium Hominins. Traffickers nab any ol’ hobo they can find and rip out what looks edible. You gotta have standards when slaughtering intelligent creatures and these scabs don’t.

What’s worse, you might not even be eating human if you buy from them. I heard from an orc buddy of mine that his sister once grabbed what looked like a primo piece of liver. Takes a bite and BLAM, she gets a case of the Screaming Bearded Shits. You ever seen an orc lady grow a beard out of her ass as she shits from here to GRAGNAR’s Polyp Garden? Eat a dwarf liver sometime and find out.

“I need a roll of toilet paper, a pair of scissors, and your word not to tell a fucking soul about this.”

“I need a roll of toilet paper, a pair of scissors, and your word not to tell a fucking soul about this.”

What I’m saying is that wouldn’t have happened if she’d had certified human organs.

I’m not just talking about the quality of their products either. I’m looking at how they operate. These scabs don’t use good ol’ femur and skull built barges to move their product. A lotta the time you’re gonna see them just fishing bodies outta the flow.

See, they got a little system to get past paying the tolls. You get one jabroni up stream with a knife. He gets himself a human, pokes him a few times with the knife, and tosses the chump into the canal. His pals downstream just need to fish the body out, carve it up and put a “Manager’s Special” tag on it.

Pro Tip: More stickers means more quality!

Pro Tip: More stickers means more quality!

I’m not here just to bitch though. I’m just calling for a little more social responsibility from all of us. When you’re out looking for the centerpiece of your Stanksgiving dinner, make sure you’re buying your meat with Crusty Bottom Teamster Seal of Approval. Every human moved by us was lovingly branded with our stamp on over 80% of their body. You can’t miss it!

Please support local business unions so we can all get a big piece of that human pie!


-J. Blergblum, Gelatinous Cube, 4

Four Reasons Neogi Make the Best Scumbag Slavers

By Nick Olivo

Freeing slaves is something that comes up a lot in RPGs. Maybe the party needs to liberate a specific NPC from bondage, maybe they’re trying to thwart a political faction by denying them the slave labor needed to build infrastructure, or maybe the party liberates slaves just because it’s the right thing to do. Usually, the slavers wind up being humans, though you’ll see drow and the occasional derro thrown in there, too. But there’s one monster race that are the hardest-core slavers in D&D, and I haven’t seen them used nearly enough (read, ever). I’m talking about neogi.

Not to be confused with “kittens”.

Not to be confused with “kittens”.

Appearing in Volo’s Guide to Monsters, neogi are aberrations from a remote location on the Material Plane. They have the head and neck of an eel, and the body of a spider. They travel across multiple planes in vehicles built by umber hulk slave laborers, and make their living trading living beings with more powerful entities. Many of these trades result in warlock-like pact bargains, granting some neogi magical talents. They’re crafty, devious, and have the ability to control other creatures’ minds. In short, they’re the perfect thing to throw at your PCs.

Unless they encounter a gang of chimpanzees, in which case you should always throw shit at them.

Unless they encounter a gang of chimpanzees, in which case you should always throw shit at them.

And because they’re CR 3 or 4, an individual neogi is capable of serving as a good low-level boss, or a group of them is a sufficiently challenging encounter for a mid-level party.

Here are 4 reasons why you should use neogi in your games.

1. They’re exotic.

If your players have been playing D&D for a while, they know what to expect from humanoid slavers, whether they’re humans or drow. Neogi are nothing like what they’ve seen before. They can mentally dominate creatures, and said compulsion lasts for 24 hours. In combat, a neogi’s bite attack is poisonous, and Neogi Masters have access to spells as if they were warlocks, including eldritch blast, arms of Hadar, invisibility, and counterspell. Add that to a native spider climb ability, and you’re looking at something that can assault your mind from any angle. And to a neogi, if your brain can be controlled, then it should be controlled, and they’re the best ones to do it.

You could certainly do worse.

You could certainly do worse.

2. They enable you to introduce extraplanar threats.

Neogi sell slaves to creatures from across the planes, which means some of the buyers are going to be powerful extradimensional entities. If the party frees a group of slaves intended for work in the Shadowfell, then the buyer may come looking for the party to take revenge. That simple mission to free an NPC from bondage suddenly gains the party a powerful adversary who likely has reach and resources, and who definitely holds a grudge. Some of the slaves freed may also be extraplanar themselves, and that can spawn adventures where the party tries to help someone get home.

Raise the stakes. If the party doesn’t help them, they’re forced into a life of prostitution.

Raise the stakes. If the party doesn’t help them, they’re forced into a life of prostitution.

3. They’ve got access to plane-shifting ships.

Neogi have ships that enable them to travel across planes. If the party steals one of those, they can theoretically travel to any plane they want. This lets you turn your humble, let’s-stop-the-orcs-from-destroying-the-kingdom type campaign into something completely different, enabling you to introduce whatever monsters and beings you want. Want the party to have a side quest with modrons in the Clockwork Nirvana of Mechanus? Maybe take a vacation in the Twin Paradises of Bytopia? And then, as they’re returning from said vacation, refreshed and relaxed, have them suffer a crash landing on the Tarterian Depths of Carceri. A neogi ship can let you make that happen.

“My sensors indicate this place sucks.”

“My sensors indicate this place sucks.”

4. They’re great deal makers.

Some players may try to negotiate with neogi rather than fight them. If so, perfect. Neogi write contracts on par with devils, so the fine print in a neogi contract will likely be littered with indentured servitude clauses, or the party agreeing to willingly go into slavery should they fail to keep their end of the bargain. This makes for some great roleplaying possibilities and adventure opportunities – if the party fails to deliver on a bargain, now they’re being hunted by neogi and need to deal with mentally enslaved creatures pursuing them as well as extraplanar aberrations.

“Twelve CDs for just one penny! Where do I sign?”

“Twelve CDs for just one penny! Where do I sign?”

A simple “free the slaves” mission can become much, much more complicated when the slavers are neogi. Imagine your party’s surprise when, instead of seeing a bunch of drow with slaver’s lashes, they come across people being mentally compelled by eel spiders. The look on their faces will be priceless.